Verona: The City of Love

The setting of Shakespeare’s timeless Romeo and Juliet, and self acclaimed to be “the most Italian place on earth”: this is Verona. Several Italians have told me that Verona is their favorite city in Italy. It’s smaller and cleaner than Rome or Venice, less tourists, but pristine, unique, and captures the Italian culture. The city of love is truly the heart of Italy.

On Sunday after the YSA dance in Venice, the ward fed us breakfast at the church, we had a lovely church service of young single adults, and then enjoyed lunch together as well. During church I especially appreciated Steven’s straightforward testimony of Jesus Christ and the truth that God is there, He is real, and He is present in our lives. Richard’s testimony of God’s love was also touching. He shared how sometimes it is difficult to love ourselves and hard to love others, but when we understand how much God loves us, those come much easier.

After church we parted ways and headed home. For some of us, Verona was conveniently on the way so we planned to stop in the city.

We stopped in a few fancy stores and shops. Verona is the place to go for shopping. If I lived in Italy that’s where I would buy my clothes. Unfortunately I know I can’t cram my suitcase much more, and I’m trying to minimize.

Do you know that magical, excited feeling you get when you go somewhere and realize that this is the scene where movies were filmed? That’s how I felt approaching Juliet’s house. Last Christmas season I was feeling romantically lonely, and in a moment of weakness watched a perfectly predictable, cheesy chic-flic called Letters to Juliet. If you feel like a good romantic comedy and dreaming of Italy, I would highly recommend that one.

I was in my own movie, I was my own protagonist as I approached Juliet’s balcony through the crowds of others, just like me, drawn into the romance of the place.

They say you will have good luck in romantic relationships if you touch Juliet’s chest. We all know I could use some of that, so yes I touched the statue hahah. My Romeo is out there somewhere.

Verona is for lovers.

Being in Verona was enchanting. It almost made me feel like I was in love. In a way, I am in love. I’m in love with Italy. I’m in love with this summer. I’m in love with adventure and seeking for goodness in life.

I’m always craving seafood. If I had endless money and lived near a coast I would be perfectly content eating fish for the rest of my life and no other meat. Over a happy dinner of salmon, Marcos and I chatted about food again. He likes sushi and foods from other cultures. He told me about traditional dishes from Argentina that his family makes and other Italian meals he likes to cook. During the conversation, it dawned on the group that with my headband I looked like the girl in the logo for a food chain that makes piadinas!

Before returning home, we made a last stop at the old castle bridge over Verona’s river. It was golden hour.

The bridge, and many spots across the city, were covered in graffiti hearts and scribbles of couples’ initials.

R + J 2023

Romeo loves Juliet

We laughed at an inscription amidst all the love: “I’m so alone…” Maybe we found it funny because we all related to it in our own way. I have joked that YSA (Young Single Adults) really stands for Young Sad and Alone. Maggie voiced, “That’s me! It’s perfect! I can’t wait to have kids…”

“That’s a mindset,” Marcos pointed out, “Even after you are in a relationship, you could still feel lonely. Even after you have kids, it doesn’t matter how many kids you have, you could still be lonely. You choose how you feel right now.” I thought that was a great perspective. And it made me smile. I realized that I am in a good place right now. I am whole.

There was a time earlier this year when I felt consumed with loneliness. I couldn’t stand to be with myself. I felt like I was drowning. I called my mom crying three times a day, I called my long-time friend Mikelle, called my other friends Emy and Halle and anyone who would talk. I spent as much time as I could with anyone I could just to be with them and hide from myself. But the loneliness haunted me every morning when I woke up and wished I could go back to the oblivion of sleep.

I realized that I needed to learn to love myself again. At that time, I hated McKenzie. I thought there must be something wrong with me because I was doing everything wrong and just couldn’t get it right. My puzzle was in pieces and I didn’t know where to start or how to begin putting it together.

Healing takes time. I’m still healing but I’m much better now. I am leaning on Jesus, because He loves me perfectly. Christ’s love is the reason I am here. He is the reason I learned to love myself again.

One day after performing initiatory ordinances in the Provo temple, I sat outside on the grass of the temple grounds. The sunset was throwing gold at the mountains and the grounds where covered in pink and white tulips. I sat there with myself, just McKenzie. I wrote a love letter to me. It was the most meaningful love letter I’ve ever gotten.

Here is an excerpt from the final paragraphs of that love letter to me:

You are divine. Remember when you were little, fourteen years old, and you used to sneak outside at night? You would lay flat on your back and look up at the stars. You would tell yourself, “There is nothing between me and eternity right now.” And you just knew that if your eyes could see it, you’d look past the starlight and right into heaven. That is still true. There is nothing between you and eternity right now. So embrace it. God has wonders to work in you. That fourteen-year-old girl had such big hopes. She wanted love so badly. She knew that somewhere out there her future husband was living and breathing and just maybe he was looking at the night sky in that moment too. You are just like her, you know that? I remember she was so afraid of you, nervous that she’d forget the things that mattered most to her through the years of adolescence. But you haven’t forgotten. And I think that if fourteen-year-old McKenzie could see you now, she would be proud of you. I am proud of you! So many things have changed in you, and many good things have stayed the same. You still love big and dream big. You still pray like God is sitting next to you. You still know who you are, McKenzie. You are a daughter of God, and that will always be how I define you.
I love you,
McKenzie Stewart

Walking through the city of love reminded me to love myself. It reminded me of how far I’ve come in my relationship with me. This summer in Italy, I have been mindful to nurture the relationships in front of me. Although I am far from home and family and the norms of my culture, there is much to love where I am now. I can’t waste a moment being lonely when I only have this short time to love Emma and the Facciolis and Nogaredo and Trentino and Italy! Life is too short for loneliness.

So my dear friend, if you are feeling lonely right now please shake that feeling away. Write a love letter to yourself and acknowledge your wholeness. Then get up and find a way to love the first person you see. Give your sibling a hug. Do an act of service for your roommate. Spend some time with your grandma. Life is best when we fill it with love.